Stubbing Your Toe In Public is Shit, Also.

God. Damn. It.
You're walking down the street, both bright eyed AND bushy tailed (a double dipped orgasm amongst the official states-of-cool) thinking about Jonathan Taylor Thomas or some weird shit, just livin' yo' life. All is well in the world. You look at anything good lookin' as you strut the strut, and since your a hep cat whatever's good lookin' looks riiiight back.
 "Mmm Mmmm Mmmmm!" You think to yourself, "what a day in the neighbourhood." Beautiful birds float gracefully in circles around you, Autumn leaves wisp gently round in their wake... it's truly good to be alive. Just then, your iPod nano (pink, of course, since you're a level headed guy, confident and cool) starts to play "It's a Wonderful Life" when YOU STUB THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FUCKING TOE AND ALMOST FALL!

Alarm bells ring! Social consciousness! A Painfully documented shame, projected 100 feet tall in the city square, oh the HUMANITY! You just about hurt yourself and lots of people saw. Stevie Wonder mocks you, like it was his intentions all along.

Okay. Next step, look around, and laugh awkwardly- so people know how not awkward you are. Fail. Next step, make eye contact with someone pretty uncool, not a hep cat- they saw, you think maybe they'll at least share a laugh. Nay. Eye contact avoided. Dismay.Walk faster, emergency overdrive, hood up, sweaty palms, iPod Nano INCREASE VOLUME, WHY DID I GET PINK!? FUCKING BIRDS. I HATE SUMMER, THIS TOWN IS FUCKING LAME.

Rinse, repeat. Oh the Human condition.